December 15, 2003
Journal Entry 19 --- Train wrecks can be fun!!!
And do you know why that is, because uncomfortable moments make for a funny evening. I would have written a follow up to the show sooner but I thought that a recovery was in order for this weeks xxx show at the U & I. Oh how my crowd loves to get me drunk. My fans are slowly but surly killing me and the liver that rooms inside my gut. I got so trashed that I couldn't even finish my fucking act. Oh yeah, that's just funny shit right there. Let's get Lonnie so wasted that he can't finish his act, thinks he can run, and then proceeds to pull down his pants at Don Frost's house after the show and tap his ass to prove once and for all that he has NO SHAME! I'm pretty sure Don is dead inside but Josh Lay; a fellow comedic talent stood watching like a deer caught in the headlights. Now the question that remains is this: What takes more balls, pulling your pants down, spreading your ass cheeks and lightly tapping the rectum or standing there and looking at the spectacle and taking notes like a court stenographer? I think Josh wins by a land slide for the title of biggest balls and I'll tell you why. First, he was sober is all get out, I on the other hand was so drunk I actually went through with one of those temping thoughts that we all get from time to time inside our head.
"Lonnie, spread ass and tap that hole." said my brain.
"Okay, I replied, that'll be hilarious!" Secondly, it's really easy to bend down and do the deed as apposed to staring right into the darkness of my inner soul... So Josh, I tip my hat to you, you brave solider. Sure capturing Saddam Husain is an act of bravery but those fuckers have been training for that capture for the last year, they are walking vaginas as far as I'm concerned. Josh had no previous training at all. I lifted the rug and he just peered into my spider hole, that's heroism at its finest. It makes me all fuzzy inside to know a brave man like Josh. Somebody get him a purple heart and wear it with pride! Don on the other hand, I'm ashamed of your weakness... It's just an ass for fuck sake. YOU should be ashamed; you left a solider in the field of war to die in battle while you ran like away like a little girl.... Maybe that isn't a kilt after all, I'm willing to bet you have a pretty little cunny under that dress of yours. Well either way anyone who didn't make it to the show missed a night of sin! We all had a great time. I'd like to thank Kristine Levin for hosting the event, the U & I for putting on the event and taking care of me while I was there, and Don Frost for warming them up and to all my fans who showed up. We'll do it again next year! LB
Posted by Lonnie at 01:14 AM
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