April 27, 2004
Journal entry 2: Got Milf?
Note: M.I.L.F. :
Mother's--- I'd--- like--- to Fuck
For about as long as I can remember, I have always had a thing for older women.
Whenever I am presented with an unbelievably sexy women, my only question seems to be, I wonder what her mom looks like! Them genes gotta come from somewhere, am I right?
Besides, if the cup cake is this sweet, I can only imagine as to the rich, delicious filling of the finished pie.
(Sorry about all the dessert metaphors, but big guys like me love to mix food and pussy. Saves us from having to make a snack after sex!) Call it a fetish (or just a healthy curiosity), but the elder, more learned member of the tribe is where I choose to worship.
The older the berry, the better the buzz.
A number of years back a term came along and it created a new dimension for the male libido in pop culture; the term that single-handedly, jerked me into man-hood The M.I.L.F. was created.
It was finally acceptable for a guy to remark, Now there's a Mom I'd Like to Fuck! Mother Fuckers took the country by storm.
Stiffler's mom..............Nailed.
Stacey's mom..............Nailed.
Fuck, even MY MOM got jack hammered a couple of times.
(And when I find the no good Cock Weasel(s) responsible, I'm gonna choke you to death with your own BALLS! Poor women still can't walk right!) Whatever the reason, maternal man-handling is on the rise. This coupled with the rise in teen pregnancies can do nothing but fuel this M.I.L.F. mania.
So what I've put together is a listing of the various types of M.I.L.F.s one may come across while cruising for ass outside of a Planned Parenthood clinic.
2% MILF: A milf with only a 2% chance she'd let you
fuck her!
Chocolate MILF: A mom who's into anal. (If she used the back door in the first place, she wouldn't be a
MILF!)
Powdered MILF: Meth-Mom.
Butter MILF: A mom who has an ugly daughter. (But-Her mom I'd like to fuck!)
Goat's MILF: A mom with Carnie roots.
Non-fat MILF: A hottie that doesn't look like she's had kids.
Ice MILF: A frigid bitch who your surprised ANYONE has EVER fuck her!
Expired MILF: A dead mom you still secretly fantasize about. (Gone but not forgotten. RIP Mamma Celeste!)
Warm MILF: A mom who tucks you in after your done Fucking!
Milf Shake: A hot mom with Parkinson's disease.
(Don't give me any shit, they're out there! You're the one fucking them!)
Spilt MILF: A mom you try not to cry over, after you've discovered she's fucked your dad!
Soy MILF: Artificial MILF, or A mom who used to be dad. (Very rare, and very scary!)
Condensed MILF: A hot mom under 4 feet. (Midget moms are the best, cause they make your junk look freakishly huge!)
Curdled MILF: A milf that's past her prime, but you'd still fuck just so you could have the story.
(So I'm stumbling home after last call right? And I end up taking a piss on the side of a church that's having a late night BINGO session...)
So those are just about all the M.I.L.F.'s your going to find in the greater North West. If you know of any others I may have missed, please send them to lonnie@lonniebruhn.com and we will get them in a future post.
I leave you now with a recipe for the mother of all MILF drinks!
Recipe #2
---The Bahama Mamma---
3/4 oz Malibu rum
3/4 oz Dark rum
Fill 50/50 Cranberry and Pineapple
Shake
Posted by Lonnie at 03:05 PM
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